Dear Rosey: I’m struggling with the impact coming out has had

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Dear Rosey, I’m 22 years old and I just came out as a gay man, to my parents. Thankfully and to my surprise, they responded accepting of who I am. They praised me for having the courage to be honest with myself and with them, and promised to love me more in the way of supporting me learning to love myself- the real me. Everything was going awesome, until the guy I am dating bashed me for not having the same experience he has had, with coming out. His parents disowned him, and so he hasn’t had a relationship with anyone in his family in over a year. Since telling him of my experience, he has been saying hurtful things about me and even agreeing with hateful comments being said by others online. Now, it’s like I am sensitive to every negative thing I hear and read. One minute, I was on cloud 9 about this experience- and the next, I feel like running back into the closet, because I am so afraid of being judged or WORSE. I just want to live my life, without having to be afraid to be who I am. I know not everyone agrees or has a level of tolerance to be around someone who is different from them, but I also know I don’t deserve to be fearful of my life and safety, or that I should have to attacked by hateful people; especially someone I care about. Signed, Just Me

Dear Just Me,

Congratulations on coming out to your mother and it going so well! It is so very sad that your experience of being unconditionally accepted is not the case for everyone. However, your partner needs to accept you unconditionally as well, which means “not bashing, or being hurtful, or hateful and celebrating your victories with you as well. I question why you allow yourself to be treated so unkindly. Why do you choose to maintain a relationship with someone who attacks you and makes you feel unsafe when, instead, you should be cherished? In fact, the definition of cherish is “to protect and care for lovingly; to adore and hold dear; to keep or cultivate with care and affection.” Do you not feel deserving of such love? Rather than running back into the closet, surround yourself with friends and loved ones who are positive, accepting, and supportive. The world is a better place with the real you in it! Sincerely, Rosey.

Call: (702) 843-6500

Dear Rosey: I’m struggling with the impact coming out has had